A Lighter View
Minority me
By K.E.H. Stagg

August 5, 2010

I know there’s a lot of sensitivy these days and even training centered around dealing appropriately with minorities, but you know as well as I that, like opinion polls, minority status can be defined to include or exclude just about anybody.

Take me, for example. I’m short. Really short. Not quite a midget, but definitely closer to the ground on the height totem pole. In that sense, I’m a minority. Very few adults in this country are as short as I am; most are anywhere from six to eighteen inches taller, on average.

My personal values are conservative. Although I can give perfectly logical, sound reasons for espousing fiscal responsibility, personal responsibility, common courtesy, behavioral consequences, and a lot of other unpopular stances, the fact that I do hold to them makes me a minority.
A native English speaker, I speak other languages but none of them is Spanish. I probably qualify for minority status both counts: bilingual Caucasian and non-Spanish speaker.

I’m also a Gypsy. A Serbo-Croatian co-worker keeps advising me, “No, no, don’t say that!” But it’s true. My ancestors descended from roving bands who originally migrated to Europe from Asia and—to this day—“enjoy” a reputation for theft, trickery, and general shifty behavior. But not all gypsies are thieves or fortune-tellers, any more than all residents of Alabama are hickified crackers. In fact, I think it’s kind of cool that way, way back, some of my ancestors probably lived in the very places I did (or at least visited) during my own childhood on the Indian sub-continent.

I’ve never been to Disney World. I’m probably one of only 2% of the entire United States that hasn’t been there at least once in a seemingly never-ending road trip childhood. That also puts me in the minority. I never had a high school prom; never got roaring drunk; never learned to do “the electric slide”. I definitely get minority status for all of those!

It didn’t take me long after moving to Dillsburg to learn that while you may have been born and reared in Mechanicsburg or Palmyra, you’re not really “from around here” unless you were born in Dillsburg. That may be the only reason for which I’m not a minority; more of us currently living in Dillsburg probably moved to this area than were born here.

So, you tell me: am I a minority? It doesn’t really matter to me if I’m an “us” or a them”. But the next time I’m required to fill out a form that asks my race, I’m checking “other” and listing Gypsy. Hey, we’re a dying tribe, and I may just be eligible for unclaimed benefits!