A Lighter View
Masking symptoms
By K.E.H. Stagg

Oct. 29, 2009

I don’t know how many of you have been harried by the news about the swine flu epidemic or pandemic that is forecast for this season. I know it’s serious and every possible precaution should be taken; it’s nothing to sneeze at.

But some people just go hog wild anytime there’s news of a potential outbreak of any kind, and before you can say “Tamiflu,” they’re following the herd to clog up emergency rooms and doctor’s offices with your basic cough/cold.

I should know. I spent several hours in a waiting room myself, wondering if the masks being worn by the plague-ridden were sufficient to protect me from contamination. Since I had a cough and fever, I, too, was required to don a protective mask, and spent the entire 2 hours (plus) peering over the rim of the darned thing as it kept slipping up to cut off my vision.

Personally, I was thankful for the mask to protect me from all the germs trying their best to see that my weakened immune system fell prey to the chest congestion of bronchitis or pneumonia. I would’ve felt more secure in a hazmat suit, but since those weren’t being dispensed, I had to make do with a surgical mask.

I looked around me, wondering how everyone else was faring, inhaling their own halitosis. There’s nothing pleasant about breathing recycled air of any kind, but particularly when it’s germ-laden and/or stinky. Frankly, I’m amazed that I was still conscious when it was my turn to be seen by a physician.

In the past 5 weeks, I’ve been prescribed a cabinet full of medicines: anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, antihistamine, cough suppressant, mucalytic and any number of other things I don’t have any clue how to spell. I probably don’t even need a night light any more. With all the medications I’m on, I can probably generate enough ambient energy to light up Dillsburg!

Luckily for me, I don’t have swine flu, avian flu or any flu at all. I just have a sinus infection, sore throat, cough and intestinal upset. The most recent symptom following my foray into the medical community is loss of voice, but my silence is more than compensated for by the cheers of those around me.

What I’m really hoping is, in addition to totally skipping swine flu, that all the gallons of lemon tea with honey I’ve drunk over the past month to pay off in a big way, like maybe dissolving 5 pounds of fat overnight.

In the meantime, I’m hanging close to home and praying for a really early spring. Before Thanksgiving would be good.