A Lighter View
Menu prices tied to clock
By K.E.H. Stagg

Oct. 1, 2009

I want to know why I should have to pay higher prices for the same food after dark. The salad isn’t any bigger after 6 p.m.; the sandwich doesn’t miraculously bulk up; the steak ounces don’t double. So why am I paying more money for the same food? I don’t get it!

It’s like paying more money for smaller clothes; using less fabric should cost fewer dollars. But the clothing industry operates on the principle that anything off “standard”—whether larger or smaller—costs extra. It bugs me that I get socked in the wallet for being shorter than average, but not as much as I’m bugged by having to pay more money for food late in the day.

If a restaurant were only open for, say, lunch, I could see them charging extra to keep the staff longer hours. However, a restaurant that bills itself as offering both lunch and dinner shouldn’t be able to hike the prices when the sun goes down and the fine print is harder for some of us to read without the aid of reading glasses and an illuminating headlamp.

The portion sizes remain identical; trust me, I’ve checked. Isn’t there a law against cheating customers? To be strictly fair, restaurateurs don’t claim to serve different sized portions; it’s more likely a case of hoping the customers don’t question the practice. I feel like wearing a signboard, stating, “I may be blonde, but I’m not dumb yet!” Not that it would give me more than a moment’s satisfaction to air my gripe; and it would be pretty hard to sit at a table while sandwiched between two pieces of wood. Still, it makes me think longingly of all the things I might do if I weren’t so bound by convention and paralyzing society manners.

Although I don’t yet have Andy Rooney eyebrows, maybe I’m just getting more persnickety with age and am turning into one of those people who begins every sentence with, “Well, when I was young. . .” or, “Back in my day. . . .”

Come to think of it, my eyebrows are getting a bit bushy and flyaway. Maybe I’m morphing into Andy Rooney. Now there’s a thought scarier than any food pricing problems I can think of!