A Lighter View
Welcome back to school
By K.E.H. Stagg

Aug. 27, 2009

Every time the new school year rolls around, I can’t help noticing how much the academic world has changed since the Dark Ages when I attended.

For one thing, most of us were dropped off and picked up by a parent, or we rode the bus. The school parking lot didn’t have to be much bigger than a dining room table because most of us didn’t own cars and our parents didn’t get a spare for us. Those who did have cars were the proud drivers of “beaters” held together with Bond-o and lucky if they were considered road-worthy from one year to the next.

School itself was more advanced in my day than simply the “three R’s”; our required classes included shop, home economics and chemistry. Our electives ranged from clubs that focused on science or math to drama, choral groups, musical instruments or one of multiple languages that one of the faculty members spoke or had studied at college.

After-school sports when I was a student were determined by the season: soccer and football were followed by basketball and wrestling, which were followed by baseball, tennis and track. Summer was “off” and then all the sports resumed their seasonal cycles.
All of that has changed.

Nowadays, high school parking lots are filled with new cars, even luxury automobiles, and I’m not referring to the teacher’s lot either! Forget the clunker with a wonky turn signal; I’m talking BMW and Lexus.

Students these days have access to subjects we’d never even heard of, thanks to the advent of online classes. Local schools no longer need a token Latin speaker on staff, nor a teacher who studied in Germany once-upon-a-time. Students can study through the Internet with native-born individuals in obscure languages such as Outer Slobbovian or modern Lithuanian.

I’ve lost track of which sports season is which, since most athletes have to pursue their chosen sport year-round in order to participate. You’ve got football players working out in the spring and track stars running indoors during the winter. Even summer is chock full of camps to help the aspiring tennis player improve his back hand, or the would-be drum major learn to kick higher and do back flips.

Don’t even get me started on the whole college entrance process! Back in my day, college access depended on good grades in high school and a coherent essay. Any more, prospective collegiates have to prove “well-roundedness,” which translates as holding down a job, performing community service, demonstrating academic achievement and athletic ability and writing an essay worthy of publication in a national magazine—all by the age of 18.

It’s a good thing I’m not a student today. I’d need a nap before noon, just to finish out my hectic daily schedule!