A Lighter View
It's all in the eye of the beholder
By K.E.H. Stagg

April 7, 2016

Catching about 3.8 seconds of March Madness over the weekend reminded me how much basketball is like driving.  For one thing, there are rules about what you can and can't do. It's surprising how often those involved think they can get away with ignoring the instructions and do whatever they want. Part of that is because the officials can't be everywhere at once. So a flagrant violation can go unnoticed - for a short span of time, at any rate. 

But it's not just ignoring the rules. Sometimes, for example, complete insanity overtakes a person who apparently thinks he's invisible.  I mean, even a seven-year-old notices when the occupant of a vehicle in the adjacent lane is picking his nose. If she were a little older, she might post her observation to YouTube where we could all be grossed out together.  Luckily for all of us, she's not that adept with a cell phone . . . yet.

ESPN and other networks have mercifully taken a sort of collective vow not to show players scratching body parts on live national broadcast. But if you've ever been at a game in person, you just have to shake your head at what some people do in front of tens of thousand of total strangers.  And not just once either!

There are the hot shots who show off at every opportunity, whether it's shooting from across the court or weaving in and out of four lanes of traffic at a mph approaching the speed of sound.  There are the extra-cautious who want to get right up next to the basket, bypassing a clear shot from the foul line. Just like drivers who get into the turning lane five miles out and hold up traffic as they creep toward their final destination.

The only difference between basketball and motor traffic is that players can't use their cell phones while on the court. Probably because the coaches all know that no matter what their players might claim, they can only focus on one thing at a time.  Motorists are the same way, but that doesn't stop them from either clogging up the roads or causing accidents as they talk and text with abandon.  I'm all for benching them until they can prove the phone is locked safely away.

Anyone else want to join my league