The Homeschool View
Have a Laugh!
By Hunter Fell

December 2, 2010

While browsing a homeschooling website, my mom found an article entitled, “Extremely Annoying Questions about Homeschooling” which listed some questions frequently posed to homeschoolers. Since I thought this was extremely funny, and some of the questions deal with topics I’ve discussed in this column, I thought you might enjoy reading a few of them. Keep in mind, they are over-exaggerated answers - NOT actual responses, but humorous, sarcastic ones (though I’m sure other homeschoolers have entertained answers like these). Throughout the article, you’ll find viewpoints of mine lurking in parentheses; as well as, past article titles which relate to the question topic and may be read on the newspaper’s website. Enjoy!

Questions regarding Socialization: (for my Views: “Socialization”, and “My Other Job”)

Do you have any friends? No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally. (misanthrope means, “a hater or distruster of mankind” … not a nice person)

How do you meet people? I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people. (I haven’t actually tried this method … hmmmm)
Questions regarding Schoolwork: (for my Views: “Labor Day is Over…”, and “To Pass or Not to Pass, I & II”)

Do you get graded? Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.

How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you? I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macabre, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes. (Now this could be a fun method … or really, REALLY boring)

How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you? I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie. (Ummm, who said homeschool teachers don’t nag???)

Personal Questions: (for my Views: “It’s Back to School” and “Distractions”)

You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh? Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply acquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am. (MY vocabulary is HUGE and I am incredibly smart [double he-he-he], but I think most of this comes from BEING homeschooled … you definitely don’t have to be a brainiac to homeschool).
Are you going to homeschool your kids? Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10. (I’ve got nothing on this - just found it funny).

Well, those of you laughing along with me are probably homeschooled and have been irritated at some point by questions such as these; and the rest of you are probably confused - wondering if you’ve been the source of irritation at some point. Probably, but no worries, most of us don’t mind the questions – I know I don’t. So, send them to me at dillsburgbanner@dillsburgbanner.com subject line, Homeschool View. They help me write articles that people are curious about; and I promise to give you my actual Homeschool View (with maybe a bit of sarcasm).